Open Letter: My Son Threw Rock at Prospector Window

I am the mother of the boy who threw the rock which broke the window at Prospector Theater last Friday.

I am writing this letter anonymously in hopes of avoiding collateral damage to my son or his siblings at school and in town.

What my son did was negligent and wrong, pure and simple. However, it was not an intentional act of hate or malice. It was a big, huge, horrible mistake which was made worse by his not taking responsibility for it immediately.

He was with friends in town, close to the Theater. He tossed a rock underhanded, attempting to make a ‘basket’ in a trash can. The trash can was flush against a ‘wall of glass’ ie a plated window of the Theater. He missed, the glass shattered, he ran. Stupid and negligent, for sure. What is worse, he did not come and tell me first. If not for the open letter written by the Prospector, I would not have known--likely not until Police were knocking on my door.

But I will say when I confronted my son with the simple question: “What happened?” He spilled his guts immediately, almost as if he were relieved. I took him to the Police straight away on Sunday morning to turn ourselves in and face our consequences. I was grateful to them for how they handled the situation. I was amazed at the graciousness of the Prospect Theater for not asking to press charges and, even more amazing, not requesting payment for the window. Instead, they requested that we contact them and meet- of course, we would!

I emailed the theater. We met in person. My son wrote his apology letters, both to the theater and employees.

There are so many teachable moments here ranging from small to big. I talked to my son about them. I started with small:

1.        Don’t throw rocks. I’ve been saying it since he was two years old. I think it may have finally sunk in.
2.        Slow down. Think before you act. Say to yourself: “Is this a good idea or a bad idea?” If you know it’s a bad idea: Don’t Do It. If you’re not sure: Don’t Do It. You know what son? Just Don’t Do It.
3.        Don’t make a bad situation worse. We all make mistakes. But you need to own up to your mistakes. It’s uncomfortable and scary but it’s the right thing to do. And if you don’t do it initially, your problem usually doesn’t go away, instead, it gets bigger. I truly hope this is a lesson learned.
4.        More specifically, if your actions damage someone else’s property, you must tell them. If you can’t find them, you should find a police officer and tell them. Or tell me. If you don’t – if you run away, you’re committing a crime. And again, you are making a bad situation worse. Just Don’t Do It.
5.        You need to be aware of your surroundings and conscientious of the people around you. Those people in the theater were scared. They thought you meant to hurt them. I know you did not, but that’s what they thought. So we need to apologize to them for that, for causing them distress. Also, you could have really hurt someone.   If the rock hit someone, or if the glass shattered on someone. That’s why we don’t run in town, why we don’t act wild around crowded places- why we don’t throw rocks. This is a big one for him. He continues to learn it.
6.        There are certain places where we must tread lightly because of the people and/or things in them, or what they represent. These places are special and personal to the people who go there. Schools, Houses of Worship, the Prospector Theater.  This is another big one. If not for the Prospector Theater pointing it out to me, I admit I would not have thought to discuss this with him. I guess I’m a work in progress too.  

However, I will say this: I did not think I’d be teaching him that sometimes people, even adults, are quick to jump to wrong conclusions, to judge. That sometimes other parents use hurtful words and that some kids will be mean in school- all based on a false narrative that was never verified, not even by the Press. In fact, besides parent comments on social media, I was amazed at how careless the Ridgefield Press was in describing this as an “Act of Hate” – which it was not. My son is 11 years old. He is a minor child deserving of some compassion for the mistakes he made. He is learning his lessons, some well-deserved, some not.

I hope that by reading this letter, Adult Reader, you will take away the thought that everyone makes mistakes. Compassion is appreciated. And jumping to dark conclusions can be hurtful to others.

*Image courtesy ProspectorTheater